Scampi: Let me get this straight.
Peter: Is there a time limit on this activity?
Scampi: Good point. Now we know why you sigh so much.
Peter: Why is that?
Scampi: SIGHS.
PAUSE.
Scampi: Ah. Still got it.
Peter: What are you doing?
Scampi: Nothing.
PAUSE.
Scampi: Have we given up on existence? Because I haven’t.
Peter: What?
Scampi: You sure are touchy today.
Peter: Do excuse me.
Scampi: Perhaps. Guess what I’m doing?
Peter: No thankyou.
Scampi: I’m fashioning a bailing bucket out of an old household cleaner container. What do you think of that?
Peter: Ingenious.
Scampi: Yes. You can’t leave the shore without a bailing bucket.
Peter: Are you boating somewhere?
Scampi: It never hurts to be prepared.
PETER WINCES.
Scampi: Well, I suppose it sometimes hurts a little. In any case, we can leave this for the international criminal courts to adjudicate!
Peter [dully]: Yes.
Scampi: You’re not even listening to me.
Peter: True. I am not.
Scampi: Humph. It’s as though there are no thoughts in my head.
Peter: Unusual.
Scampi: It is unusual. I am not a concrete brick wall.
Peter: Did someone say you were?
Scampi: Yes: you did.
Peter: I did no such thing.
Scampi: Did, too.
Peter: This is incorrect.
Scampi: You wish. What would you wish for?
Peter: I am not a wishing man.
Scampi: I am not a wishing well.
PETER CHUCKLES BITTERLY.
Scampi: Jeez. Maybe you should take a chill pill.
Peter: None were available.
Scampi: The animals have gone to the river. Why do you think that is?
Peter: They are likely thirsty.
Scampi: Yes, likely.
PAUSE.
Peter [suspiciously]: Wait, what animals?
Scampi: Oh, you know. It’s watering time, of course. We must all drink our fill.
Peter: SIGHS.
Scampi: Did you ever think of doing anything?
Peter [sharply]: What do you mean by that?
Scampi: Oh, nothing. Would you like to lie in the grass while I explore the apple orchard?
Peter: What apple orchard?
Scampi: This one.
Peter: It’s snowing.
Scampi: Those are macintosh blossoms. Golden delicious.
Peter: It is wintertime.
Scampi: Tell that to the orchard.
PETER CLOSES HIS EYES.
Scampi: That’s the spirit. I’m going to check on the view from the treetops.
Peter: Yes, do.
Scampi: Ahoy! Bluebirds and grey skies ahead! Man the pommey-slicer! Steady down below!
Peter [lazily]: That doesn’t mean anything.
Scampi: Then why are you smiling?
Peter: Did you just dump snow on my head?
Scampi: Apple blossoms.
Peter: Ah.
Scampi: Let’s stay all afternoon.
Peter: Impossible.
Scampi: How so?
Peter: It’s already dark out.
Scampi: Certainly not.
Peter: Why do you want to stay here?
Scampi: Why don’t you?
Peter: I didn’t say that.
Scampi: All afternoon.
Peter: Right.
Scampi: Because it’s beautiful.
Peter: Ah.
Scampi: Because we can.
