Scampi: [YAWNS.]
Peter: Excuse me.
Scampi: Hm?
Peter: Your hand seems to be waving about in front of my spectacles.
Scampi: Ah, yes. [YAWNS.] Like this?
Peter: Quite.
Scampi: Oh, look.
Peter: Mm?
Scampi: Ripe mulberries. They are falling all around us.
Peter: Yes.
Scampi: Here, have one.
Peter: No, no.
Scampi: Yes.
Peter: I couldn’t possibly.
Scampi: That’s incorrect. You could.
Peter: Please.
Scampi: What?
Peter: Could you – ?
Scampi: Could I what? Have a mulberry.
Peter: Very well.
Scampi: Chomp. Delicious.
PAUSE.
Scampi: You know they kept fighting on the Western Front even after the war was done, right?
Peter: What’s that?
Scampi: They kept fighting. And dying.
Peter: Well then, the war was not done.
Scampi: Officially, I mean. The peace had been signed.
Peter: I see.
Scampi: They kept it up. They kept on sending out black telegrams and smoking cigarettes.
Peter: What does smoking cigarettes have to do with it?
Scampi: I don’t know, Peter. I didn’t start the fire.
Peter: I see.
Scampi: Pushkin was the Shakespeare of Russia, you know.
Peter: In what sense?
Scampi: Didn’t you know that?
Peter: I do not know what you are trying to say.
Scampi: Because of how good he was, and that sort of thing.
Peter: Because of his Bardic qualities?
Scampi: Kharms said he couldn’t grow a beard. Or a moustache, or whatever.
Peter: Oh?
Scampi: Yeah. Because of how much he contributed to the language. He was worth his weight in new words.
Peter: How much did he weigh?
Scampi: Really! That’s a private matter.
Peter: Ah.
Scampi: Yes.
PAUSE.
Scampi: If you were Pushkin, I would say, ‘I’m sorry, Pushkin.’
Peter: Ah. And who would you be?
Scampi: That has nothing to do with it.
Peter: [CLEARS A RUBYTHROATED HUMMINGBIRD FROM HIS THROAT.]
Scampi: Oh, look.
Peter: Hm?
Scampi: It vanished into the sun.
Peter: What did?
Scampi: Just now.
Peter: Apparently, I missed this miraculous event.
Scampi: I’ll say.
PETER EMITS A DELICATE, INVISIBLE COUGH.
Scampi: Sometimes, this is more difficult than others.
Peter: Yes.
PAUSE.
Peter: What is?
Scampi: Everything.
Peter: Yes.