Scampi: Ai.
Peter: This is a strange noise.
Scampi: Please, don’t mind me.
Peter: Okay.
Scampi: I would like to discuss some of the socio-politico-geodesical implications.
Peter: As you know, I am apolitical.
Scampi: This is nothing to be proud of.
Peter: I didn’t say that!
Scampi: What?
Peter: Wait, did you say “geodesical”?
Scampi: And? What if I did?
Peter: I don’t understand.
Scampi: What else is new?
PAUSE.
Scampi: Remember when we were talking about pirates?
Peter: On numerous occasions.
Scampi: Incorrect. Anyway, I’m not interested in having a conversation about murder, and that sort of thing. I am interested in having a conversation about ADVENTURE ON THE HIGH SEAS.
Peter: You had planned to reprovision in Madagascar.
Scampi: Peter!
Peter: Yes?
Scampi: You do remember our conversations!
Peter: This should not be a surprise.
Scampi: Well, you know what a geodesic dome is, of course.
Peter: I do.
Scampi: Those things are great.
Peter: Innately?
Scampi: Have you ever seen one that wasn’t great?
Peter: Great how?
Scampi: Like, Oh, excellent, a geodesic dome!
Peter: Uh.
Scampi: Ha! You see?
Peter: You are certainly in a mood.
Scampi: I am not. Jerk.
Peter: Pardon me?
Scampi: You know what else?
Peter: No.
Scampi: Familiarity breeds contempt.
Peter: I see.
Scampi: So, obviously I’m not in a mood. As you put it.
Peter: I fail to see the sense in this line of reasoning.
Scampi: Maybe you should get your eyes checked.
Peter: SIGHS.
Scampi: Don’t sigh at me.
PAUSE.
SCAMPI SIGHS LOUDLY.
Scampi: Haw haw. Now I see why you sigh all the time.
Peter: Excuse me?
Scampi: It’s fun!
SCAMPI SIGHS FIVE TIMES IN A ROW.
Scampi: I could be a professional!
Peter: [inadvertently] SIGHS.
Scampi: Ahahahahahaha! Amazing.
PAUSE.
Scampi: I’m sure you would enjoy the life of a buccaneer.
Peter: I am very distracted by all the important work I have to do.
Scampi: This would be true, if you were a buccaneer. Imagine what we would call our boat.
Peter: Our boat?
Scampi: Yes, our boat. Oh, was that a name suggestion?
Peter: No.
Scampi: I like it. In lettering on the prow – what kind of lettering, do you think?
Peter: Roman.
Scampi: No, no. I am asking about the font.
Peter: I have no idea.
Scampi: Well, how about Comic Sans, then?
Peter: No!
Scampi: I knew you had an opinion on this.
Peter: We do not have a boat.
Scampi: We don’t have one yet. Per se.
Peter: We don’t have one at all.
Scampi: Untrue!
Peter: I am feeling restless.
Scampi: Perfect.
Peter: I want to go for a walk.
Scampi: You can go for a walk once we land on the Malabar Coast.
Peter: Of India?
Scampi: Where did you think we were going? Sudetenland?
Peter: No.
Scampi: Look at the sunset. It is a sad sight.
Peter: It is a gaseous orb.
Scampi: That’s what I said.
Peter: Ah.
Scampi: When the light is gone, it will get cold very quickly.