Scampi: Let me tell you something. There was a distinct trout theme to yesterday. Has this ever happened to you?
Peter: A trout has never happened to me.
Scampi: Not that you would know.
Scampi: I was more curious about thematic coherence. Are your days ever a symphony of thematic coherence?
Scampi: If you’re busy or you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.
Peter: What’s that supposed to mean?
Scampi: I just think you’re not really taking the time to think about my question before you answer.
Peter: [SIGHS.] Uh, that some sort of theme animal would intermittently splash up through the fluid of my daily grind? No, I don’t think so.
Scampi: Fine. Well yesterday for me contained about nine hundred occurrences of trout.
Peter: What kind of trout?
Scampi: Just trout.
Peter: What about sturgeon?
Scampi: No sturgeon. Not really.
Peter: What do you mean, not really?
Scampi: That’s what I mean.
Peter: In my experience (limited though it may perhaps be) there is either a sturgeon, or there isn’t.
Scampi: That’s why you are Peter, and I am Scampi.
Peter: I find this response to be dissatisfactory.
Scampi: I don’t expect factories to be sated. I am looking for joy elsewhere, my friend.
Peter: Like where?
Scampi: Well, not in the auto sector, for starters.
Peter: Are you implying that I look for joy in the auto sector?
Scampi: Don’t get all offended. I wasn’t implying anything. I was just saying, that’s not where I’m looking. [PAUSE.] I mean, you aren’t either. You’re exemplary.
Scampi: Sure. You set an example for us all.
PETER COUNTS HIS BEARD.
Scampi: Are you looking forward to something?
Peter: I look forward to many things.
Scampi: Like what?
Peter: I am looking forward to having a bath.
Peter: Is that not sufficient?
Scampi: Well, a bath is fine, I guess. But I meant something larger, like snow.
Peter: The computers of the future?
Scampi: Aren’t they here already?
Peter: No. The computers of the present are here. The computers of the future have not yet arrived.
Scampi: But you’re excited for them.
Peter: About them.
Scampi: Maybe they’ll be made of people.
Peter: Absolutely not.
Scampi: Then they might be happy. Then you could be excited for them.
Peter: This belongs in a comic book for twelve year olds. It has nothing to do with computers.
Scampi: You’re very touchy today.
Peter: I am bogged down by the incessant howling of my nervous system.
Scampi: Oh. I’m sorry.
Scampi: I’m not part of your nervous system am I?
Peter: [COMES DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO LAUGHING.] No.
Scampi: Okay. So, if you were one of the knights of the Round Table, which one would you be?
Peter: If I was what?
Scampi: You know what I’m talking about. King Arthur’s knights.
Peter: Yes, I am aware of them.
Scampi: I know you are. Which one would you be?
Peter: Are there any named Peter?
Scampi: Come on. If you could be any of them.
Peter: Which one got the most sleep?
Scampi: You know what I think? I think you’d be King Pellinore.
Peter: That’s wonderful.
Scampi: You don’t know who King Pellinore is, do you?
Scampi: Ok, ok. But see, King Pellinore had this thing for the Questing Beast. He was always looking for it.
Peter: Are you suggesting I’m always looking for something?
Scampi: No, I’m suggesting that you would be King Pellinore.
Peter: If we lived in the Arthurian legend.
Scampi: That’s right. Isn’t that exciting?
Scampi: Do you know who I’d be?
Scampi: Me neither. But I would help you look.