Scampi: Remember when we saw that man with two umbrellas?
Scampi: And we were like, Why does he have two umbrellas? It’s not even raining.
Peter: Why did he have two umbrellas?
Scampi: Maybe he was carrying an umbrella to his wife.
Peter: What a gentleman.
Scampi: That’s right.
Scampi: His wife was at home in the gazebo with no umbrellas, waiting.
Peter: I suppose that is a possibility.
Scampi: Why not?
Scampi: I suppose it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. Does it?
Peter: Doubtless, there are more painful trials to be withstood than carrying an extra umbrella.
Scampi: I’ll say.
Peter: That was a good day.
Scampi: Why do you say that?
Peter: I do not know. Making conversation?
Scampi: Remember how I thought perhaps he was carrying his extra umbrella to his former self in case it rained on them both in the future?
Peter: That does sound familiar. I suppose.
Scampi: Yes. We arm ourselves against the future. We arm ourselves in solidarity with the past, even as we poke it with the sharp butts of our umbrellas.
Peter: We do?
Scampi: We do. We have like, seventeen umbrellas. Jesus Christ. We’re like a goddam umbrella emporium around here.
Peter: You seem agitated.
Scampi: Oh ho! I wonder what’s giving you that idea!
Scampi: The notions you entertain, my friend. Positively outlandish.
Peter: Well, you do seem a trifle – vigorous.
Scampi: Join the living, Peter. We are a vigorous tribe.
Scampi: Don’t look so put off. You adore the filthy universe.
Peter: Please do not speak of the universe in this way.
Scampi: You love it.
Peter: I confess, I do.
Scampi: Good. Good.
Scampi: Two hundred years from now, or something, some lady’s waiting for you in the gazebo. Waiting for some raingear to greet the day.
Peter: This is some sort of whimsical temporal jaunt, I take it?
Scampi: You certainly do. Throw an extra anorak in your satchel and embrace the future!
Scampi: Is your throat sore?
Peter: Not quite.
Scampi: Excellent. We should carry extra lunches.
Peter: Are we carrying any lunches?
Scampi: We might be. Who doesn’t like lunch?
Peter: Late risers, perhaps.
Scampi: No, no. Late risers simply prefer late lunches.
Scampi: We will carry extra lunches for our future selves. And extra socks. And extra brains!
Peter: I am not following this tangent.
Scampi: It’s not a tangent. It’s a sidestep.
Scampi: Have you had too much sun?
Scampi: Are you sure?
Scampi: I think you’ve had too much sun.
Peter: Good for you.
Scampi: Thank you.
Scampi: Would you like this parasol?
Peter: [alarmed] Where did you get that?
Peter: I suppose a little shade would not go amiss.
Scampi: Go on.
Peter: Thank you.
Scampi: Any time.
Peter: What was that?
Scampi: You heard me.
Scampi: Let’s just sit for a while.
Peter: If you insist.
Scampi: The pond is so still.
Scampi: It’s right in front of you.
Peter: Yes. It is.
Scampi: Look at the surface. Glassy.
Peter: I didn’t know there was a pond here.
Scampi: There is.
Peter: [drawls] Lovely afternoon.
Peter: Shall we stay here a while, do you think?
Scampi: Certainly. Just until yesterday.