pt 63: DUNKIRK

Scampi: I had heard – Peter, are you listening to me?


Peter: Hm?


Scampi: Peter. I’d heard that Jane Austen.




Scampi: You know who that is, right?


Peter: Of course I do.


Scampi: (Yeah, right.) Anyway, she signed her letters, “your affectionate sister, JA”.


Peter: Did she sign all of her correspondence in this manner? How unusual.


Scampi: Ugh. I mean her letters to her sister. Not her letters to like, the Archduke of Mumbleford or whatever.


Peter: Oh? And how did she sign those letters?


Scampi: Humph. Well, think about this: Seventeen thousand Senegalese people died defending France in 1940. Did you know that?


Peter: I did not.


Scampi: I find it very upsetting.


Peter: You do seem agitated.


Scampi: Thank you.




Scampi: Oh god.


Peter: What?


Scampi: The air is full of snowflakes.


Peter: So it is. Is there a problem?


Scampi: I don’t know, Peter. Sometimes the massive beauty of the world is just too much for me. I don’t know what to say.


Peter: I don’t understand your use of italics there.


Scampi: Peter!


Peter: Am I missing something here?


Scampi: Pay attention! Seventeen thousand troops from Senegal were killed defending France. The air is full of snowflakes.


Peter: There you go with those italics again.




Scampi: I was quoting myself. I was summing up.


Peter: What’s the difference between quoting yourself and repeating yourself?


Scampi (valiantly): Please look out the window.


Peter: The snow is falling.


Scampi: Or are we falling? Peter.


Peter: We seem fairly stable, as compared to the snow.


Scampi: (snorts)


Peter: What?


Scampi: Oh, you can have your opinions. Oh, certainly.


Peter: (offended)


Scampi: My tea is cold.




Scampi: Peter, I wonder –




Scampi: I’m not sure.


Peter: With whom are you speaking?


Scampi: You.


Peter: I see.


Scampi: Peter, I’m adressing you.


Peter: Ah.


Scampi: Like a letter. Haw haw.




Scampi: You know what we should do?


Peter: I do not.


Scampi: We should go to church!


Peter: Pardon me?


Scampi: I know that you heard me.


Peter: I confess, I did.


Scampi: Confessing already! Let’s go find a church.


Peter: Why would we do that?


Scampi: I think it could be a fun adventure.


Peter: Don’t we have enough adventure in our lives?


Scampi: HA! That’s rich. The last tweed-covered person who had as many adventures as you was Sherlock Holmes. Ha ha.


Peter: I have no idea what you’re speaking of.


Scampi: Imagine: a church in the midst of all these snow flurries. So quaint. We will pretend to be foreign emissaries. We will receive a hero’s welcome.


Peter: From the rector?


Scampi: The rector! Hilarious.


Peter: What do you want to visit a church for?


Scampi: I want to light candles.


Peter: Ah.


Scampi: I want to see in the dark.


Peter: But it isn’t dark out.


Scampi: In a church it is.


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