Peter: Is the radio bothering you?
Scampi: I couldn’t care less. It can’t be any worse than the static in my head.
Peter: This is not the fault of my radio.
Scampi: Nope. I am reading about the constructivist approach to education.
Peter: [FOLDING SHEETS.] I much prefer the destructivist approach.
PETER LIFTS HIS ARMS LIKE A TYRANNOSAUR.
Peter: ARGH. Children, today we will SMASH THINGS!
Peter: We’ll start with THE STATE!
Scampi: That’s good.
Peter: [REFOLDING HIS SHEET.] Thank you.
Scampi: Do it again.
Peter: No, no.
Scampi: What do you call it when someone looks at you all funny? Funny and mean?
Scampi: Fish-eyes? No, stinkeye.
Scampi: Someone gave me the stinkeye.
Peter: Oh? Who was it?
Scampi: Don’t you know?
Scampi: I’m not telling.
Peter: You know what would be even more secretive than asking questions in this manner and then not answering them?
Peter: Not asking in the first place!
Scampi: Well, that’s not very nice. Anyway, I did answer.
Peter: I disagree.
Scampi: Maybe you were just too busy humming to yourself to notice.
Scampi: Should we talk about the Frankfurt school?
Peter: Should we what?
Scampi: Well, should we?
Peter: Why would we do that?
Scampi: I dunno. It could make you appear more cultured.
Peter: I am highly cultured.
Scampi: Of course you are.
Peter: I am a highly cultured individual.
Scampi: Naturally. I just thought we could expose that some more.
PETER CONSIDERS THIS.
Scampi: (aside) While Peter isn’t listening, I would like to point out that he knows a lot less than some about the Frankfurt school. I bet he doesn’t even know where Frankfurt is. Ha. Haha.
Peter: What are you laughing about?
Scampi: Hee hee.
Peter: You’re nuts.
Scampi: Haw haw haw haw. I bet you don’t even know where Frankfurt is!
PETER STOPS MIDWAY RUNNING HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR.
Scampi: Hahahahaha. Your hair! You look like Einstein in the bath!
Peter: You sure have ants in your pants today.
Scampi: [respiratory difficulties] Oh, Peter. You make philosophy accessible to us all.
Peter: [flustered.) Well.
Scampi: Here. Let me help you out with those sheets.