Scampi: Well, Peter.
Scampi: It seems to me.
Scampi: Or, to look at it another way.
Scampi: I’m just trying to appreciate all angles here.
Scampi: I wasn’t finished.
Scampi: Have you ever gone to Australia?
Peter: I have not.
Scampi: Oh. I knew that, actually.
Scampi: How do you imagine it to be?
Peter: I don’t, really. I don’t think about Australia that much.
Scampi: And why would you?
Scampi: But really the question is, why wouldn’t you? Eh?
Peter: Because it is not in my brain. There is no need.
Scampi: Maybe you need to learn a little more about your neighbours. Did you ever think of that?
Peter: What neighbours?
Scampi: On this earth. Your fellow men. Your humanoid compatriots.
Peter: Humanoid? Do you mean human?
Scampi: Don’t patronise me, mister. I know what I mean.
Scampi: And I’m not the only one. You know what I mean, too.
Peter: Oh really.
Scampi: Yes. Anyway, if we need to learn about Australia, we can jolly well learn about Australia.
Scampi: That’s right. Besides, I bet you know a lot more about Australia than you let on.
Peter: How much are you betting?
Scampi: It’s an expression. It means, I am correct.
Scampi: For example, in Australia, everyone walks around upside down. Did you know that?
Scampi: What? What?
Peter: Refrain from this prattle.
Scampi: Prattle? Pardon me?
Peter: You just said that in Australia people are walking around upside down.
Scampi: Perhaps I did. Perhaps they are.
Scampi: The world is rife with strange beasts.
Peter: PICKS AT HIS TEETH.
Scampi: And perhaps we are the strangest beasts of all. Some of us anyway.
Peter: Are you talking about me?
Scampi: No. I am talking to you.
Scampi: Fungi floppily cushion the forest floor. Behind the trees, brown bears dip their magnificent paws in wild honey.
Peter: Is this a children’s tale?
Scampi: Is that what you think? Bears and mushrooms belong in fairytales?
Scampi: Well, I think they belong in the world. We are all in the world.
Peter: Is this what passes for philosophy these days?
Scampi: Don’t start with me. Philosophy is welcome to take a long walk off a short pier.
PETER REMOVES HIS EYEGLASSES AND RUBS HIS EYES WITH ONE PALE, CRUMPLED PAW.
Scampi: I am sure you have no wish to deny the existence of bears, mulching leaves, mushrooms, and Australia.
Peter: The existence of them?
Scampi: That’s right. You do not deny it. Do you?
Peter: Uh. No.
Scampi: Precisely! That’s what I’m saying. We’re all in this together.
Peter: Well, now—
Scampi: Don’t well now me. We are all crunching and whispering across the forest floor. Going from here to there. Looking for a soft place to sleep.
Peter: Well yes.
Scampi: Of course. There could be a blanket of snow, there could be a blanket of leaves, there could be a blanket of fine alpaca fur.
Peter: One has to have dreams, I suppose.
Scampi: What was that?
Scampi: Dreams? Are you talking about dreams?
Peter: It was a just a.
Scampi: Do you have dreams? Is this what you’re saying?
Peter: I wasn’t really. Saying anything.
Scampi: Dreams. The finely silted dreams of Peter.
Peter: Silted? What are you talking about?
Scampi: I don’t know.
Scampi: I don’t know.