pt 60: BEASTS

Scampi: Well, Peter.


Peter: Well.


Scampi: It seems to me.




Scampi: Or, to look at it another way.


Peter: Hm?


Scampi: I’m just trying to appreciate all angles here.


Peter: Okay.


Scampi: However.


Peter: Indeed.


Scampi: I wasn’t finished.


Peter: Oh.


Scampi: Have you ever gone to Australia?


Peter: I have not.


Scampi: Oh. I knew that, actually.


Peter: Yes.


Scampi: How do you imagine it to be?


Peter: I don’t, really. I don’t think about Australia that much.


Scampi: And why would you?




Scampi: But really the question is, why wouldn’t you? Eh?


Peter: Because it is not in my brain. There is no need.


Scampi: Maybe you need to learn a little more about your neighbours. Did you ever think of that?


Peter: What neighbours?


Scampi: On this earth. Your fellow men. Your humanoid compatriots.


Peter: Humanoid? Do you mean human?


Scampi: Don’t patronise me, mister. I know what I mean.




Scampi: And I’m not the only one. You know what I mean, too.


Peter: Oh really.


Scampi: Yes. Anyway, if we need to learn about Australia, we can jolly well learn about Australia.


Peter: If.


Scampi: That’s right. Besides, I bet you know a lot more about Australia than you let on.


Peter: How much are you betting?


Scampi: It’s an expression. It means, I am correct.


Peter: Hm.


Scampi: For example, in Australia, everyone walks around upside down. Did you know that?


Peter: Please.


Scampi: What? What?


Peter: Refrain from this prattle.


Scampi: Prattle? Pardon me?


Peter: You just said that in Australia people are walking around upside down.


Scampi: Perhaps I did. Perhaps they are.


Peter: SIGHS.


Scampi: The world is rife with strange beasts.




Scampi: And perhaps we are the strangest beasts of all. Some of us anyway.


Peter: Are you talking about me?


Scampi: No. I am talking to you.




Scampi: Fungi floppily cushion the forest floor. Behind the trees, brown bears dip their magnificent paws in wild honey.


Peter: Is this a children’s tale?


Scampi: Is that what you think? Bears and mushrooms belong in fairytales?


Peter: Perhaps.


Scampi: Well, I think they belong in the world. We are all in the world.


Peter: Is this what passes for philosophy these days?


Scampi: Don’t start with me. Philosophy is welcome to take a long walk off a short pier.




Scampi: I am sure you have no wish to deny the existence of bears, mulching leaves, mushrooms, and Australia.


Peter: The existence of them?


Scampi: That’s right. You do not deny it. Do you?


Peter: Uh. No.


Scampi: Precisely! That’s what I’m saying. We’re all in this together.


Peter: Well, now—


Scampi: Don’t well now me. We are all crunching and whispering across the forest floor. Going from here to there. Looking for a soft place to sleep.


Peter: Well yes.


Scampi: Of course. There could be a blanket of snow, there could be a blanket of leaves, there could be a blanket of fine alpaca fur.


Peter: One has to have dreams, I suppose.


Scampi: What?




Scampi: What was that?


Peter: Uh.


Scampi: Dreams? Are you talking about dreams?


Peter: It was a just a.


Scampi: Do you have dreams? Is this what you’re saying?


Peter: I wasn’t really. Saying anything.


Scampi: Dreams. The finely silted dreams of Peter.


Peter: Silted? What are you talking about?


Scampi: I don’t know.






Scampi: I don’t know.


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