Scampi: Do you remember that – uh – what was it again?

 

Peter: I have no idea what it is that you speak of.

 

Scampi: Yes yes.

 

Peter: I might suggest, however, that it is perhaps less than germane.

 

Scampi: But no less German for it. Didn’t we establish that you don’t know where Frankfurt is?

 

Peter: I know where Frankfut is.

 

Scampi: Oh, yeah, where is it?

 

Peter: That way.

 

Scampi: I dunno. I think it’s rather to port of that.

 

Peter: I know where Frankfurt is.

 

Scampi: Says you. Moving along, I am so tired. I am so tired I can’t think of what it is I wanted to ask you.

 

Peter: This is not an unprecedented occurrence.

 

Scampi: Humph. You are such a beetle.

 

Peter: Excuse me?

 

Scampi: No excuses, junebug. I am a budding entomologist.

 

Peter: Congratulations.

 

Scampi: Thank you. I have just been awarded a medal of honour for my work in taxonomies of the rich and belegged.

 

Peter: The what?

 

Scampi: You know, bugs. Shiny ones.

 

Peter: Yes.

 

Scampi: I won the metro-cum-national bug-athon.

 

Peter: Could I offer you a glass of water?

 

Scampi: I do believe you just did.

 

Peter: Ahem.

 

Scampi: My research has shown that bugs are often numerously legged.

 

Peter: As was previously established a lifetime ago, you have excellent research skills.

 

Scampi (graciously): Quite.

 

Peter: Do you think these trousers make me look distinguished?

 

Scampi: Ah. Certainly. You are a swinging bachelor! A regular fox on the run!

 

Peter: How distasteful. You must not clutter me with your vernacular in that fashion.

 

Scampi: Would I!

 

Peter: What?

 

Scampi: I said, Good day. I am practising my Australian accent.

 

Peter: Why?

 

Scampi (casually): For the school play.

 

Peter: The what?

 

Scampi: ‘Cause I feel like it.

 

Peter: Oh.

 

Scampi: Mate.

 

Peter: Are we playing chess?

 

Scampi: In Australia they are. Everyone over there wins at chess 78 times per day. Sensational.

 

Peter: Look how low my voice is.

 

Scampi: It is a treat.

 

Peter: It is.

 

Scampi: But you’re no Dan Dee. That’s all I’m saying.

 

Peter: I aim to bear this burden with dignity.

 

Scampi: You are a true stalwart.

 

Peter: I do my best.

 

Scampi: I know you do, Peter.