Scampi: Do you remember that – uh – what was it again?


Peter: I have no idea what it is that you speak of.


Scampi: Yes yes.


Peter: I might suggest, however, that it is perhaps less than germane.


Scampi: But no less German for it. Didn’t we establish that you don’t know where Frankfurt is?


Peter: I know where Frankfut is.


Scampi: Oh, yeah, where is it?


Peter: That way.


Scampi: I dunno. I think it’s rather to port of that.


Peter: I know where Frankfurt is.


Scampi: Says you. Moving along, I am so tired. I am so tired I can’t think of what it is I wanted to ask you.


Peter: This is not an unprecedented occurrence.


Scampi: Humph. You are such a beetle.


Peter: Excuse me?


Scampi: No excuses, junebug. I am a budding entomologist.


Peter: Congratulations.


Scampi: Thank you. I have just been awarded a medal of honour for my work in taxonomies of the rich and belegged.


Peter: The what?


Scampi: You know, bugs. Shiny ones.


Peter: Yes.


Scampi: I won the metro-cum-national bug-athon.


Peter: Could I offer you a glass of water?


Scampi: I do believe you just did.


Peter: Ahem.


Scampi: My research has shown that bugs are often numerously legged.


Peter: As was previously established a lifetime ago, you have excellent research skills.


Scampi (graciously): Quite.


Peter: Do you think these trousers make me look distinguished?


Scampi: Ah. Certainly. You are a swinging bachelor! A regular fox on the run!


Peter: How distasteful. You must not clutter me with your vernacular in that fashion.


Scampi: Would I!


Peter: What?


Scampi: I said, Good day. I am practising my Australian accent.


Peter: Why?


Scampi (casually): For the school play.


Peter: The what?


Scampi: ‘Cause I feel like it.


Peter: Oh.


Scampi: Mate.


Peter: Are we playing chess?


Scampi: In Australia they are. Everyone over there wins at chess 78 times per day. Sensational.


Peter: Look how low my voice is.


Scampi: It is a treat.


Peter: It is.


Scampi: But you’re no Dan Dee. That’s all I’m saying.


Peter: I aim to bear this burden with dignity.


Scampi: You are a true stalwart.


Peter: I do my best.


Scampi: I know you do, Peter.


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