Scampi: Can you speak Italian?

Peter: Are you asking me?

Scampi: Who else would I be asking?

Peter: If I speak Italian?

Scampi: Do you?

Peter: Certainly not.

Scampi: Yeah I knew that.

Peter: Then why did you ask?

SILENCE.

Scampi: Have you ever tried to see the backs of your legs?  It’s impossible.

Peter: I can see my calves.

Scampi: Yeah, so can I.  I mean the backs of your legs.  That you can’t see.

Peter: Why do you wish to know?

Scampi: I dunno.

PAUSE.

Scampi: I do not know.

Peter: Perhaps I shall avail myself of a siesta.

Scampi: A siesta?  Avail yourself?

Peter: Both.

Scampi: Je-suss.

Peter: Uh.

Scampi: The sun is shining.

Peter: Yes.  It fatigues me.

Scampi: Fatigues you?

Peter: That is what I said.

Scampi: Goddam.

Peter: So much bluster.

Scampi: Well, yes.  It’s the only appropriate response to this sort of – mania.

Peter: My desire to take a nap?

Scampi: Precisely.  Who do you think you are, Rip van Winkle?

Peter: Certainly not.

Scampi: You don’t sound so sure.

Peter: I am not debating this.

Scampi: Why?  Because you can’t?

Peter: No.

Scampi: Oh ho!

Peter: What does that even mean?  That doesn’t mean anything.

Scampi: Why don’t you just curl up under the mountain?  On a pile of treasure?

Peter: Because I am not a dragon.

Scampi: Says you.  What happened to embracing the world?

Peter: Someone’s arms got tired.

Scampi: What?  What?

Peter: Who said anything about embracing the world, anyway?

Scampi: I did.  I just did.

Peter: Yes.  Well, now’s your chance.

Scampi: How many times do I have to say this, Peter?  We’re in this venture together.

Peter: What venture?

Scampi: This one.

Peter: Are we venture capitalists?  Is that what you’re saying?

Scampi: Of a sort.  Perhaps.

Peter: I didn’t hear anything about embracing the world.  That wasn’t in the contract.

Scampi: Ebenezer Scrooge.

Peter: This analogy montage is giving me cerebral spasms.

Scampi: Keep up.

Peter: Calm down.

THANKS TO PETER AND HIS WAYS, AN IMPASSE IS FORCED.

Scampi: Thanks a lot.

Peter: Wait, how was this my fault?

Scampi: Such protestations.  Goodness.

Peter: I don’t appreciate this sort of –

Scampi: Jerrymandering?

Peter: Japery.

Scampi: Oh, Peter.

Peter: That is my name.

Scampi: We know.  That is the one thing we’ve been able, with the available instruments,  to establish, time and time again.

Peter: What instruments?

Scampi: The ones at our disposal, evidently.

Peter: Hm.

Scampi: I could build a fire.

Peter: Out of what?

Scampi: It’s something we can do.  We human creatures.

Peter: Yes.

Scampi: We could have some coffee.  Would you like some coffee?

Peter: I feel faint.

Scampi: It will get better.  Keep your limbs moving.

Peter: I feel.  Ah.

Scampi: I know.  It won’t last.

Peter: Oh.

Scampi: It will get better.  Soon.

Peter: Yes.

Scampi: Keep moving.